link party ♢ weekly wishes #6

...time has run away with me, in just three short days I will be boarding a plane that will fly me into the next phase of my life. Eeshk!

I'm going to be a Londoner again and my heart could burst I'm that excited.

Today is a flurry of folding and packing, checking off lists and re-organizing piles.

And for making big decisions on what is important enough to bring and what can be let go of and left behind.... both literally and symbolically.

I've decided to dedicate today's weekly wishes link up to a few affirmations for 'London V.2'~ just a little contract with myself that will help me make the absolute most of this move and avoid returning down paths best left in my past:

△ Be a present participant, not a passive observer of my own life~ looking back over the past couple years I recognize that there have been times, moments and events which I have not taken an active part in and enjoyed to their fullest potential. By continually practising mindfulness I won't be a passive participant any longer, instead I'll make an effort to be present and active in each precious moment.

△ Keep one eye on my heart and one ear on my soul~ I've learnt the hard way that ignoring something that your soul is screaming for doesn't lead to anywhere good. We have a little inner guru working away inside of us that only has our best interests at heart. It's tricky to tap into what he's telling us at times but it's a necessary tool and well worth the practise.

△ Cultivate connections: friendship, communication, intimacy, conversation. All are vital to happiness and sense of self worth. Don't ever neglect them or shut them out. 

& don't be afraid to reach out, there'll always be someone there to hear you, whether you believe it or not.

△ "Change is a present activity, not a future event"~ This motivational quote has helped me no end in these last few months of healing and growth. These are words to live by and draw from in those moments when I just feel like phoning it in. 

Thanks again to the inspirational Mel for this wonderfully motivational link-up~ the posts I've written for them have unwittingly ended up being some of the most cathartic and therapeutic posts I've written!

Her blog is also a massive resource for positivity, honesty and self love. 

Go check The Nectar Collective and get your own spoon of honey!

Wanna join the party every Monday?

Click below!

Hitch your wagon to Stars in Jars!

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head in the clouds/ toes in the earth

 Summertime, and the livin' is easy.

The living is easy, indeed. I've never known a summer like it. 

Once September hits and its back to work I know my heart will pine for these long, drawn out days of sun-chair lounging and Vonnegut reading, picking and choosing my waking hours and navigating the country lanes with only the wild horses for company.

I've been taking an hour long stroll most evenings. I love the natural euphoria that occurs when you mix cardio with visual stimulation and Sigur Ros ^.^

There's something about these ice cream flavour skies; blueberry blue and cherry-whipped, I wish I could take a giant spoon and eat up a scoop...

Such magic to be found in summer, 

especially for a daydreamer like me.

I'd love to hear your favourite parts of this season!

link party ♢ weekly wishes #2

{{source}}

Time for round 2 of Melyssa's weekly link party!

I'm pleased to say I did really well with last weeks promise to keep up with the daily yoga challenge I signed up for.
There's a quote I love from Joseph Pilates: "You are only as young as your spine is flexible".
  I love to see those pictures floating the internet of 80 year old women who are in wonderful shape and can still contort into the most impossible asanas~ proof of the truth behind this statement. I like to keep this quote and those images in my mind's eye whenever I feel like shirking my daily practise.

Today my weekly wish is based around a big brown envelope I dropped off at the post office today.
5 years ago I developed a keen interest in Nutrition which  has ballooned  into a desire to pursue it as a career choice. After 5 years of procrastination and talking about it I have finally bitten the bullet and filled out an application for an online degree course in Nutritional Therapy.
After much mulling over with my Mom about how this will eat up the next 4 years of my life and income I have decided the end goal is so worth it. I will be able to begin a career in something I am truly passionate about.

My wish this week is that the universe will send back a positive response to my brown envelope and send me down a new and exciting path in my life.

Fingers, toes and eyes crossed >.<

link party ♢ weekly wishes #1

I'd like to take a long moment in this post to introduce you to a purdy young lady I have had the pleasure of acquainting with through this funny ol' blogging world.

Meet the lovely Melyssa of The Nectar Collective.

I "met" Melyssa earlier this year when I came across her blog and instantly connected with her as she is a fellow expat teacher in an Asian country. Even though she currently teaches in Japan while I used to teach in South Korea, I instantly related to her blog posts about the struggles and breakthroughs of living, essentially, as an 'alien' on another planet.

Not only that but her blog is peppered with beautiful crafts, recipes, adventure stories and, my personal favourite, her 'Musings From Monja' series where she chronicles (hilariously) life as viewed from her cutie pie dog Monja's eyes and all the thngs that "really get my nub wagging".
 Leaves me rolling around in happy tears every. single. time. 
(I challenge you to go read about the poop barf and not chuckle)

Anyhoo, fawning aside, you should check the gal out. She wins the internet in my book.

Which is why I will be taking part in her Monday Link Party: 'Weekly Wishes'...

Each Monday Melyssa will host this link up over on her blog and she is inviting one and all to share their personal  wishes/goals/challenges/promises with each other. I can't wait to click through to some new blogs, maybe find a new favourite, and also read what goals people are making each week and gain some inspiration from them.

This will be my first contribution to the Weekly Wishes link up and I am going to start this week by challenging myself to be vigilant and keep up with the free 30 day yoga challenge I signed up for yesterday.

Apparently this Weekly Wishes has come at just the right moment in my life because it's personal challenges like this that make me hold myself accountable when I sign myself up for things and then end up not doing them. Case in point, I was emailed my first yoga video this morning and I still haven't done it ~.~

I was, however, very proud of myself for sticking to my one week raw cleanse which I posted about yesterday.

I had a bit of interest about my eating schedule since posting that so for any who are interested just leave me a comment or email me on tremblingstarz {at} gmail {dot} com and I will send you my 7 day recipe plan which I made to follow every day of the cleanse.

The plan breaks down the week day by day and gives recipes for all meal times; some  recipes are taken from the book I was following and some were from recipes found on Pinterest, including raw blended tomato and coconut soup and lemon chick pea avocado salad.

Just drop me a line if you're wanting to cleanse and I'll shoot it to you lickety split.

Peace!

x

clean eating inspiration

{{mango + avocado salad}}

When I began this post it was purely going to be a recipe post for a delicious chocolate avocado pudding  and an update on my clean eating regime. However, as I thought about my current eating habits I realised how they tie in with the story of my last few months in South Korea and how I came to leave my job and move back in with my parents for some much needed recovery from the bashing my mind, body and metabolism had been though.

It's a tough story to recount, and even though I'm not 100% comfortable with baring my soul like this on-line, I think it will be a cathartic and healing practise for me to write it.

Perhaps some of you who read this will have had similar experiences.

I've been interested in superfoods, clean eating and nutrition in general for many years now. Throughout my twenties I have managed to maintain a constant low weight through a combination of diet and yoga.

And then last year happened. I started a new job at the beginning of my third year in Korea. The hours at my new school were crushing, the responsibilities and workload were threefold that of my previous school. At the end of every work day I was mentally and physically beat. I would stay up as late as I could every night, despite being exhausted, just to try and delay the moment when I would have to wake up and do it all over again.

 Needless to say my health and fitness habits became sloppy to say the least. Instead of using exercise to combat my work based stress I turned to all the quick fixes~ smoking, take-outs, boozy nights out after work. 

Before too long my health started to suffer, not only physically but mentally. It was around this time that my anxiety disorder became out of control, I couldn't visit a shopping mall or supermarket without having a panic episode. I decided, after 15 years of refusal, to seek pharmaceutical help for my stress and anxiety.

Two prescriptions later I was heavily medicated on anti-anxiety and anti-depressant meds, wired from my crazy work schedule, still drinking and eating unhealthily. 

9 months in to my contract I began to unravel.

My relationship suffered, my friendships suffered, I was suffering. I was burnt out, strung out on the medication, constantly sick with something and abusing alcohol to mask all the pain and disappointment I felt with myself.

When I put myself in hospital after one night of complete despair a big decision needed to be made.

And so here I am... back home, in therapy, off meds, working out and eating clean.

I'm back on track and ever, ever so thankful for the love and support of my family right now.

Now, more than ever, I realise the importance and quick-fire benefits of a good diet and active body.

When I stepped off that plane from Korea and entered Arrivals to meet my parents my Mom said she was shocked at my appearance; I was pale, thin, listless, the sparkle gone from my eyes. I had zero energy and would need to nap for a couple of hours if we did as little as go out to do some food shopping. I've never felt so zapped and depleted in my life.

But since I've got back on track and readjusted my lifestyle I feel one million times better.

I notice it in my hair, my skin, my energy levels, my mood.

Even my breathe, as gross as that is!

The fact is  (for those of you still with me!) my diet has been the cure-all remedy for all of the stress, anxiety and despair that I was going through.

It's always easier to reach for the cigarette or the slice of pizza, or to crack open a can to help you relax. But the truth is none of those things contribute towards your well-being. They will only contribute towards a second rate version of you, and who wants that?

I hope this post doesn't sound preachy. I just wanted to share my personal experience and journey.

And so I don't miss the complete point of my original post~ here are a few of my favourite and even peculiar healthy eating inspirations from Pinterest. 

{+ I will return shortly with the pudding recipe!}

Here's to eating yourself happy!

^.^

{{basil + peanut butter on wholemeal roll}}

{{date + coconut oatmeal topped with banana + dark chocolate}}

{{grilled grapefruit topped with honey, ginger + cinnamon}}

clean, green diet

{spinach/tomato/mozzarella salad w/ pine nuts + mixed seeds}

{poached egg w/ granary toast, sliced tomato + avocado}

{wholewheat spaghetti w/ basil, cherry tomatoes, pesto + goats cheese}

{salad w/ spinach, sun-dried tomatoes, roasted bell pepper, avocado, pine nuts + goats cheese}

{baked sweet potato w/ sour cream, sun-dried tomatoes + mixed seeds w/ stir-fried mushrooms, chickpeas + spring onion} 

{grilled mackerel w/ couscous, spinach + chick peas}


I'm pleased as punch that I have stuck to my clean eating regime since coming back home.
My plates are green, leafy and spring-colored with plenty of oily fish, fresh veggies and good fats.
I'm feeling the benefits of good nourishment, green smoothies, herbal teas and free range eggs.
I won't deny myself guilty pleasures~ I love bread and pasta for example, but I'll only eat wholegrain varieties. And the cheese is non-negotiable!

We've been having lots of April shower weather on this damp green island... slow moving days with half-shut curtains and open fires.
A girl could get used to spending every day in her pajamas!
& being surrounded by sleepy puppy-dog goodness ^.^

on turning thirty

Hello there April 2013, how on earth did you get here so quick?

You're sudden arrival marks the month I will say so-long to my twenties and turn the big three-o.

I told my body to stop at 25 but it seems to have stubbornly marched on with the aging process anyhow.

It's with a certain ambivalence that I approach this milestone in my life.

My twenties has been a reckless decade, filled with abandon and reverie, travel and experience, passion and love and friendships and heartaches.

 It's been wild, it's been beautiful, and I regret nothing.

At this tipping point between my final few weeks as a twenty-something and becoming a thirty-something, I'm less preoccupied with getting older than with refocusing my life goals.

I'll take that first wrinkle, the extra cellulite and the random hairs that start to spring up in unexpected places.

That's the unending march of time and there's not one of us that can do anything to change that.

What I can do is look back on the last ten years and learn from them.

While my twenties were wonderful, they certainly weren't without faults.

 There were mistakes and bad judgments, naive decisions and just plain wrong choices. There were times were I presented myself in a way that I have since been ashamed of.

However none of those were a waste as long as I learned a little something from them and use them as a marker in my future choices and decision making.

This is my first promise to thirty year old Louise...be accountable and learn from your past mistakes.

I feel like I dealt with my twenties the way I'd deal with a large bowl of salty caramel ice cream with hot fudge sauce. Savoring every spoonful, enjoying the flavor and the smell and the coolness of it and licking the bowl out at the bottom.

I've reached the bottom of the bowl.

So that flavor was amazing, but what do I want to try next? I'd like to use this new phase of my life to take care of myself, my mind and my body could do with a little less recklessness and a little more TLC.

I want to be kind and to love and to show appreciation.

 To practice acceptance with the past and to always remember that all of my experiences to date, the bad and the good, have shaped the woman I am today. 

I want to focus on the things I am good at and shape them into a career that I will love and be passionate about. I want to marry my love and be a mama and fulfill that ache I've been feeling for the past few years whenever I see a beautiful baby. 

I want to write and create, to surround myself with beautiful people and things and above all to make myself proud.

If my twenties were caramel and hot fudge I'll take my thirties without the hot fudge.

Still delicious, still to be savored and enjoyed, but a tad less unhealthy.

And that, friends, is something I'm ready to celebrate

 ^.^

travel//journal

These past few days have been chilly, snowy, nothing to do but roam around the house days.

I have reminiscence written all over me.

Photo albums are being pored over, old love notes read and re-read and journals flipped through and smiled at fondly.

Above is the journal I kept on my first trip to India back in 2009, it's probably been about three years since I last read through it. My fingers tips are worn smooth from turning so many pages that still smell like a mixture of incense and spices, a ghost of a scent trapped and preserved between the pages after all these years.

Reading through my entries I'm amazed at how resolved I was to document not just the events of my trip but the emotions, the connections, the conversations and the lessons learned.

I scribbled down quotes and snatches gleaned from chats with fellow travelers; things that resonated with me or I wanted to remember for future reference. Compliments given to me or assertions on life that had never occurred to me before.

I wrote lengthy excerpts from books that I was reading while I traveled, stories told by taxi and rickshaw drivers, my fortune given by a palm reader.

 There are maps, phone numbers and email addresses scribbled in the margins alongside my own doodles and calender entries detailing what I did each day.

 I will forever know that on June 4th of 2009 I "Sat next to the ocean reading Hemingway and drinking Ginger Lemon Honey Tea".

Every page is filled with the people I met, their impressions on me, the experiences I had, the romances and what I learned from them.

I'm so glad I have this keepsake from the most magical and influential 4 months of my life to treasure and keep for always.

It's a reminder in this time of healing of what once was and what once again can be.

I'll leave you with a final thought- a sentence scribbled on to the first page of my book, whether it was a quote I heard or read or it came from my own brain I can't remember, but it's a nice thought, and one that serves me well in this current path I'm taking...

strawberries and turquoise

After Monday's post I have been making small and conscious efforts to savor the tiny and precious moments during my day which I would have otherwise let slip into the part of my brain that doesn't retain memories.

Today as I travelled home from work I studied the faces of the people I shared my subway carriage with, I noticed the pretty turquoise pattern of the subway station's floor tiles, the ornate window grill, the fresh strawberries for sale on the street.

I'm having a little strawberry floor picnic as I type this, taking the time to experience the taste and texture of each one as I sit here typing and listening to Patti Smith. Really listening, taking in the lyrics, gleaning what I can from them. Because this is another of my faults; when I hear music I don't make the effort to absorb the words, instead letting the melody wash in to one ear and out of the other.

Mindfulness is on my mind.
Can you tell?
I'm working on it and it feels pretty good.
Thanks to all for your words of encouragement.
I savor them as much as these strawberries.
 >.^