clean eating inspiration

{{mango + avocado salad}}

When I began this post it was purely going to be a recipe post for a delicious chocolate avocado pudding  and an update on my clean eating regime. However, as I thought about my current eating habits I realised how they tie in with the story of my last few months in South Korea and how I came to leave my job and move back in with my parents for some much needed recovery from the bashing my mind, body and metabolism had been though.

It's a tough story to recount, and even though I'm not 100% comfortable with baring my soul like this on-line, I think it will be a cathartic and healing practise for me to write it.

Perhaps some of you who read this will have had similar experiences.

I've been interested in superfoods, clean eating and nutrition in general for many years now. Throughout my twenties I have managed to maintain a constant low weight through a combination of diet and yoga.

And then last year happened. I started a new job at the beginning of my third year in Korea. The hours at my new school were crushing, the responsibilities and workload were threefold that of my previous school. At the end of every work day I was mentally and physically beat. I would stay up as late as I could every night, despite being exhausted, just to try and delay the moment when I would have to wake up and do it all over again.

 Needless to say my health and fitness habits became sloppy to say the least. Instead of using exercise to combat my work based stress I turned to all the quick fixes~ smoking, take-outs, boozy nights out after work. 

Before too long my health started to suffer, not only physically but mentally. It was around this time that my anxiety disorder became out of control, I couldn't visit a shopping mall or supermarket without having a panic episode. I decided, after 15 years of refusal, to seek pharmaceutical help for my stress and anxiety.

Two prescriptions later I was heavily medicated on anti-anxiety and anti-depressant meds, wired from my crazy work schedule, still drinking and eating unhealthily. 

9 months in to my contract I began to unravel.

My relationship suffered, my friendships suffered, I was suffering. I was burnt out, strung out on the medication, constantly sick with something and abusing alcohol to mask all the pain and disappointment I felt with myself.

When I put myself in hospital after one night of complete despair a big decision needed to be made.

And so here I am... back home, in therapy, off meds, working out and eating clean.

I'm back on track and ever, ever so thankful for the love and support of my family right now.

Now, more than ever, I realise the importance and quick-fire benefits of a good diet and active body.

When I stepped off that plane from Korea and entered Arrivals to meet my parents my Mom said she was shocked at my appearance; I was pale, thin, listless, the sparkle gone from my eyes. I had zero energy and would need to nap for a couple of hours if we did as little as go out to do some food shopping. I've never felt so zapped and depleted in my life.

But since I've got back on track and readjusted my lifestyle I feel one million times better.

I notice it in my hair, my skin, my energy levels, my mood.

Even my breathe, as gross as that is!

The fact is  (for those of you still with me!) my diet has been the cure-all remedy for all of the stress, anxiety and despair that I was going through.

It's always easier to reach for the cigarette or the slice of pizza, or to crack open a can to help you relax. But the truth is none of those things contribute towards your well-being. They will only contribute towards a second rate version of you, and who wants that?

I hope this post doesn't sound preachy. I just wanted to share my personal experience and journey.

And so I don't miss the complete point of my original post~ here are a few of my favourite and even peculiar healthy eating inspirations from Pinterest. 

{+ I will return shortly with the pudding recipe!}

Here's to eating yourself happy!

^.^

{{basil + peanut butter on wholemeal roll}}

{{date + coconut oatmeal topped with banana + dark chocolate}}

{{grilled grapefruit topped with honey, ginger + cinnamon}}