Monday, 29 July 2013

link party ♢ weekly wishes #5

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Sometimes I wish I could hammer a nail into the centre of my forehead and wear a sign there that reads "Work in progress". 

Thanks to Melyssa's lovely link-up I've been reminding myself daily that it's really ok to trip up and fall down, to muddy my cheeks and scuff up my boots. It's the striving for better-ness along the way that counts. I don't believe that a 'perfect' human being exists, rather our whole lives are one big never-ending journey of self-improvement.

Last time I posted my 'Weekly Wishes' I said I wanted to focus on strengthening my heart chakra by practising forgiveness, love, contentedness and yoga.
Two weeks flitted by and I thought I did pretty good; I bit my tongue when I got frustrated with my parents, I offered to hang out with my young cousins while they are on summer vacation when I would rather have had a Woody Allen marathon, I made concious efforts to put my own convenience to one side in order to make others around me happy.

So far, so "pat me on the back for ain't I good".

Yesterday morning I received my first negative comment.
A lady posted a comment telling me she couldn't finish reading because of my "foul language" and that I wasn't her "cup of tea".
I was stung.... embarrassed, hurt, angry, ashamed. 
 My knee-jerk reaction was "oh my god I've offended someone and the evidence is all over my dirty little blog for all to see...delete, delete, DELEEEETE!"
I deleted her comment and enabled comment moderation for the first time ever. I basically did everything short of running and hiding under my duvet while at the same time telling myself I'd done the right thing by ignoring her and getting rid of any evidence that there could possibly be someone out there who might not dig me or my blog.

But, as the day went on the comment and my reaction to it stuck in my throat like a bad taste. I couldn't shake it.
I started to wonder if I really had done the right thing.
 Was I really being honest with myself by deleting the comment, or my readers for that matter? Is the best response to negativity or criticism to run and hide from it? Was this the reaction of a strong, assertive, self loving person?

I wish I could go back and un-delete that comment. Deal with it in some other manner or thank her for her honesty, even!
I shouldn't place so much importance on what one person thinks of me or on the impression I want to make on a lot people I don't even know.
 This is my space, my creative outlet. I can write well written and meaningful posts or sloppy posts or drop the occasional S-bomb here and there if I feel so inclined and not expect rainbows to be shot up my ass by every single person who finds themselves reading. 
And I refuse to edit myself! This is me. I can swear and belch AND write about my spirituality and self-improvement at the same time. I won't hide what I'm about and I'll make no apologies. 
I can't please everyone.
 And that's okay.

This is my new promise to myself: Don't shy away from criticism, face it head on and take it on the chin like a bad-ass.

Now, I'm off to disable my comment moderation ^.^

Wanna join the party every Monday?
Click below!

The Nectar Collective


  1. Thanks for linking up :)

    I think EVERYONE has gotten a negative comment at some point and it def stinks. I think it depends on the content of the comment as far as deleting. That lady didn't need to be so rude. It's fine if you're not her "cup of tea" but if cursing offends her then she should have better manners. I just think people shouldn't comment or visit if they aren't interested. It is YOUR blog :)

    1. Aah thank you for this Leeann! It just seemed so absurd to me when I realized I had scrubbed my blog clean, wiped off the dirt and buffed it up with my sleeve. I just had a moment of "why did I do that and who for??" Your right, she had bad manners, but I also responded like a special little snowflake. Time to man up!! Thanks so much for your comment ^.^

  2. Very real post and some good points made. Top marks for honesty!!

  3. it sucks when people aren't nice. I don't understand why someone would leave a negative comment (it's like they don't know how it feels!). Negative comments help us grow unfortunately and everyone is a work in progress

    1. They do help us grow, if we let them! Thanks for commenting Angela!! xx

  4. I think this was a wonderful lesson. Isn't funny how we can feel like we've come so far, only to encounter an obstacle and to sort of turn back to our old thinking? But at because you were practicing more consciousness, you were aware of it. It's likely that you would have pretended like it never happened in the past, but look at the reflection and look at how it made you stronger.

    This is your space to do with it as you wish... but I admire you for facing it, for turning moderation off, and for saying, "This is who I am and not everyone has to accept it." That's hard to do sometimes, especially in the face of negativity, but I do applaud you. :) YAY!


    1. haha!! YAYY!! Thank you Erika for your lovely comment and for making me smile!! (✿◠‿◠)

  5. I am TERRIBLE at taking criticism, constructive or otherwise. I love the way you handled it, I can definitely relate!

    1. Thanks Sondra, I didn't realize just how bad I was at taking criticism until this happened and then I was kind of disgusted with myself for being such a baby about it. Lesson learned! Xx

  6. I think you are definitely not the only one who got negative comments, but I think this is normal...
    Wouldn't it be weird if everybody likes everything from everybody?
    So don't worry about it, I don't think you started blogging to make everybody happy in the way what and how they wanna read it ;)

    1. That's so true, it would be a pretty bloody boring world if we all shared exactly the same opinions on everything. Great point, thanks so much for commenting!! Xx

  7. Hi Lou - oh my goodness, exactly the same thing happened to me yesterday, and I did exactly the same as you did - delete, delete! Enabled comment moderation, and then I totally regretted it, thinking I should have engaged in the discussion even though it was definitely going to lead to a horrible argument. Then I thought hang on, this poster is anonymous, no name, no online identity, that makes them a troll right? And on and on... it's hard to know what the right thing to do is. I think with trolls it's fair enough to keep them out of your personal space on the internet. But if they're making negative comments and are willing to show who they then you should engage.

    Anyway, I just wanted to say I love all your images and the whole vibe of your blog - will def be following. Thanks for stopping by and good luck with the Free People comp too!

    Julia x

    1. Hi Julia!! Thanks for visiting >.<

      That's so strange you shared the same experience only yesterday!? Although my lady had an online profile and from what I could tell she was a pretty hardcore Christian...Lord knows how she found her way on to my blog, haha! I suppose I have been well initiated into the world of blogging now!!

      Thank you so much for your lovely words about my blog~ yours is so slick, I think you have the comp in the bag!! ^.^ xxx

  8. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

  9. I love this post. We are all works in progress!


    1. Thanks Naomi, I checked out your blog...I love the package you received in the snail mail collective, I can't wait to get mine! ^.^

  10. i heard a good quote about criticism the other day. i've since forgotten it.