Tuesday, 19 February 2013

there is a crack in everything

The older I become the more I "get" the importance of purging.
It is such a healthy act to constantly strip back, shed like a snake, expel the negative and the things that are holding you back from growth and forward movement.
Purging can be applied to all aspects of our lives; from the company we keep, our diets and our social habits, all the way down to our list of friends on Facebook and the blogs that we choose to read.

Just recently I performed a mass purge in my bloglovin reader. 
Over time I was realizing that quite a few of the blogs I choose to read follow the same cookie-cutter formula:
same impeccably taken photographs of household items, same beautifully put together outfits, same "ain't life sweet" smiles and same lines about an amazing weekend/ brunch/ birthday party/ date with a boyfriend.

I'm not attacking this style of lifestyle blogging.
Of course we should blog and celebrate the joy in our lives and our homes and everyone has the right to post as they see fit.
My point is it that for me it can get tiresome seeing the same life-is-as-sweet-as-cherry-pie posts over and over again.
What's wrong with sharing the "I'm having a bad day"/ "I feel down this week"/ "I'm having relationship issues" posts?
I find it way more refreshing  and relatable to read posts by bloggers who aren't afraid to show their vulnerability or problems alongside the good stuff.

Me, I'm all for putting my best side forward in this blog, so far I've used it as a vehicle to showcase my adventures in life, travels, my job and my loves.
But I have been guilty, like the bloggers I described above, of putting a Stepford-Wife smile on things when they haven't been as rosy as my blog posts may have portrayed.
For instance, my ten year battle with anxiety disorder and the fact that last week I had a Valentine's date with a therapist rather than a boyfriend.

I guess my reason for writing this post at all is to break the mold a little bit. To show to other bloggers or readers that behind the pretty photos and the upbeat posts there is a real person battling real demons.
I'm not special or alone, everyone has their flaws and I think flaws can be just as beautiful, or maybe even more, than the "perfect" image.

There is a lyric by Leonard Cohen which I love and that verily sums up my feelings:

"Ring the bell that still can ring//
forget your perfect offering//
there is a crack in everything//
that's how the light gets in."

I am cracked, flawed. 
Demons? I has em.
But show me a branch of oak as smooth and stainless as a piece of cold steel and I will feel nothing.
It's the knots and swirls, the cracks and indents and crevices that make it something different, special and interesting.
Never be afraid to show your flaws. 
They are a part of your perfect whole.


  1. This is a beautiful post. I know what you mean about everything being 'perfect' in blogs. I try to keep mine positive - but positive doesn't always mean perfect -y'know?

  2. Such a wonderful point, thanks for being so real.

  3. So true. I've noticed this SO much recently. . . it almost gets annoying to get on bloglovin because its all the same things. thanks for calling this out.

  4. Totally agree with the comment about bloggers, if blogging is about real life, it should be about real emotions too :)

  5. I really like this post. I think it's important not to come across negative and spread negativity as for most people that's not what blogging is about. Yet I agree, people should be more real. Life isn't one cycle of happiness all the time for everyone.

  6. Thank you so much for this, I love the honesty in your writing. You're right, how can appreciate the good if you never see the bad?